My Last Breath
by Asphyxiated Angst
Summary: its sad. sakura commits suicide. sweet songfic. 1 shot
1. The Suicide

My last breath  
  
"Dialogue" 'Thinking' /Talking on the phone\ ~~Lyrics~~  
  
Sakura was in the kitchen. Staring at the knives. Wondering which one of them she would use to end her sad, pathetic, excuse for a life. They were all sharpened from the night before. There was of course; the butcher knife, the bread knife, the smallest and sharpest knife, and, and, her favourite knife was gone. 'Dammit' she thought. 'Well you could always use the small one.' A voice in her head told her.  
  
The phone rang. 'Dammit' she thought. "Now, who the Hell could that be?" she muttered.  
  
/Sakura. Look. It's me. I know you're there. Please pick up. I need to tell you how sorry I am. We didn't want you to find out this way.\ he continued. She picked the phone up. "Look. Forget it. It's your own damn fault. YOU slept with my best friend. Not me YOU. Just, remember that, this is your fault not mine. I didn't go and ask you to go fuck my best friend behind my back im our own home" she said tears forming in her dull emerald eyes. /Sakura. You know it's not like that\ he continued. "Don't you DARE go calling me Sakura. It's Kinomoto to you." She said. "Only friends call me Sakura. And you, you're the farthest thing from a friend right now." /I know you still love me. Just, don't deny it. You'll just be lying to yourself.\ "alright. Look. I do love you, okay. But you hurt me so bad." She said crying. "why did you have to go and do that anyway, huh? Wasn't I good enough for you? Was I ever "worthy of your love"? Have you ever really loved me? How long has this been going on for?" she asked. All in one breath. /Well you see,\ he started /Me And Tomoyo felt so very attracted to each other and well, we just couldn't deny. You know you were always good enough for me. Too good. Of course you were worthy of my love. I've never stopped loving you, but, I sorta love Tomoyo too. It's been going on for the last nine months\ he finished. "Wow. Nine months, and you thought I never suspected a thing. How stupid do you think I am? You think I didn't notice that everything smelt of lavender and vanilla, just like her. And, when we made love you'd moan out her name. At first, I thought nothing of it. But, then again first impressions aren't always right, are they, love?" she asked him menacingly. "Well. You'll never see me again. But, just remember, I love you more than life itself. Goodbye Syaoran, I'll miss you. Remember that you hold a special space inside my hear, forever." /what do yo\ he was cut short because Sakura slammed the phone back into its cradle.  
  
'now where was I up to?' she asked herself. 'ah yes, now I remember' she thought.  
  
Instead of using one of the larger knives she goes to her room and takes out a crimson Swiss army knife. The one that she had used just last night.  
  
She lifts up both her shirtsleeves to reveal bandaged arms. She carefully peels the bandages off and throws them in the rubbish bin.  
  
The next step, she knows is going to be the hardest. She feels her hands getting weak and shaky but she doesn't care. She slashed her right wrist deeply, pit pat, blood falling little by little on the carpet, slash, there goes the other wrist. 'oh well, the carpet can be cleaned, the house sold.' She thought silently to herself, when; the doorbell rang 'fucken hell' she thought. 'Who the hell can this be?'  
  
"Sakura. I know you're there" a voice called. She remembered it as Syaoran's.  
  
He kicked the door open easily.  
  
She could feel darkness coming on. She knew that she only had ten minutes at the most left.  
  
Then, he saw her, sprawled on the floor, blood leaking from both of her wrists. He looked at her. "w-wha-what hap-penn-ed to you?" he asked softly. Tear welling in his eyes.  
  
Then, all of a sudden, the radio turned on. Evenesence's "My last breath" came on. Matching the atmosphere perfectly.  
  
~~ hold on to me love  
  
you know i can't stay long  
  
all i wanted to say was i love you and I'm not afraid  
  
can you hear me?  
  
Can you feel me in your arms?~~  
  
"hold me Syaoran" she whispered. He held her close just as she had asked. Her body was limp and light as a feather. Just as he had remembered it.  
  
~~ Holding my last breath  
  
safe inside myself  
  
are all my thoughts of you  
  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight~~  
  
"I love you Sakura" he said. Crying openly. "and I'm not going to lose you." Not caring whether anyone saw him or not. "you know I love you more than anything Syaoran. Just kiss me." And he did.  
  
~~ I'll miss the winter  
  
a world of fragile things  
  
look for me in the white forest  
  
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
  
i know you hear me  
  
i can taste it in your tears~~  
  
"Tell everyone I love them and not to worry." He acted as if he hadn't heard her. He wasn't going to let her go. He didn't care he just wouldn't.  
  
~~ closing your eyes to disappear  
  
you pray your dreams will leave you here  
  
but still you wake and know the truth  
  
no one's there~~  
  
She closed her eyes lightly. "Open your eyes" he said. She did. "Goodbye Syaoran. Don't be afraid because I'll be in heaven watching over you." With that she kissed him lightly on his soft, sensual lips an closed her eyes. This time permanently.  
  
~~ say goodnight  
  
don't be afraid  
  
calling me calling me as you fade to black~~  
  
She got dizzy and her world tilted and slowly turned to black. The last thing she heard was Syaoran calling her name.  
  
No one would ever see those ever so lively emerald green eyes again. No one would see that smile again, the one that could melt stones. And nobody would ever hear that sweet voice again. The one that sounded cheerful and sweet. Like silver bells.  
  
My notes:  
  
Well. I almost cried writing that. I hope that you all like it as well. Please review. I think that was very sad. 


	2. The Funeral

"Dialogue" 'Thinking' /Talking on the phone\ ~~Lyrics~~  
  
The day was beautiful and sunny. The exact opposite of everyone's moods, everybody was sad, depressed and mourning. Mourning the death of a loved one, a friend, and a helping hand in time of crisis and a lover. A lover of everything. From animals to food. She loved everything like no one else did. She had such a passion for life as no one else could.  
  
They were all gathered around her white coffin. It had flowers all around the circumference.  
  
Nobody thought that this day would ever come. She was always so happy. So effervescent.  
  
Nobody thought this day would come. But, it did.  
  
Everybody had been devastated when they heard of Sakura's untimely demise. Her friends were all grief stricken.  
  
They couldn't believe that their innocent Sakura-chan had committed suicide. She just wasn't the type to do anything like this.  
  
She was just too sweet and innocent, but then again Syaoran and Tomoyo had driven her to the brinks of insanity with their cruel little game. Now look where that got them.  
  
Tomoyo was back together with her husband Eriol. And again, Syaoran had nobody. There they were his two girls. Both gone. Tomoyo there nestled in her husband Eriol's arms; her head nestled in his chest. Then, there was Sakura, lying in the white coffin, specially made for her. All because of him.  
  
~~ How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
  
leading you down into my core  
  
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
  
until you find it there and lead it back home~~  
  
'That's it' he thought. 'Why didn't I think of that before? If the only way I can be with Sakura is in my dreams then. I'll sleep forever.'  
  
~~(Wake me up)  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
(I can't wake up)  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
(Save me)  
  
call my name and save me from the dark  
  
(Wake me up)  
  
bid my blood to run  
  
(I can't wake up)  
  
before I come undone  
  
(Save me)  
  
save me from the nothing I've become~~  
  
They started to lower Sakura's coffin. Once it was fully lowered into the ground her father and brother walked up; grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it onto the light coffin. Syaoran went next, then Tomoyo and Eriol, Meilin and Naoko, Chiharu and Yamazaki and Rika and Tomoyo's and Syaoran's daughter Tanika. All repeating the same process.  
  
(By the way everyone thinks Tanika is Eriol's daughter.)  
  
Syaoran couldn't bring himself to come to terms with the fact that his precious Cherry Blossom was gone for good.  
  
He ran to his empty apartment as soon as the ceremony had finished.  
  
He ran into his room and flopped straight onto the bed, tears in his eyes.  
  
Sakura couldn't have left him, she just couldn't. She was strong she was a fighter. The strongest of them all.  
  
~~ now that I know what I'm without  
  
you can't just leave me  
  
breathe into me and make me real  
  
bring me to life~~  
  
'wait' he thought. 'when I walked in I saw a-a videotape and letters' he remembered.  
  
He called Touya and Fujitaka and told them to call the others and to be at Sakura's apartment in 10 minutes. Everybody would be there.  
  
~~**Sakura's apartment**~~  
  
Syaoran got there in a matter of seconds, opened the door and rushed in. Nobody was there yet.  
  
'Go on' said a voice inside his head. 'Take the letters and the tape, just wait until everybody else arrives to watch it'  
  
Shortly after everybody else had arrived Syaoran told them about the tape and letters.  
  
Syaoran gave everyone his or her letters and put his in pocket.  
  
************Syaoran's letter************  
  
Dearest Syaoran, You were my first and last love. I have always loved you more than life itself. You were the only thing I lived for, which is quite is quite ironic if you think about, seeing how you also killed me. You were the only person I had ever fully trusted. You've always been my light at the end of the tunnel. Now, that I closely, I noticed that the light was just another train. I did all I could to make everyone happy, but I guess it just wasn't enough. I was the queen of naivety, look where that got me. Remember you always hold that special place in my heart, which can never be replaced. I'll never forget you. I hope that you never forget me either. You have to let go and move on, even though I can never truly hate you what you did to me.  
Love, Sakura Ying Fa Kinomoto  
  
************End letter************  
  
************Fujitaka's letter************  
  
Father, I know that this has come to as a shock to you and everybody else but it's for the best, also, know that I will be in Heaven, with Mother, awaiting your arrival at an interval somewhere along the way. You are the best Father that anybody could ever ask for. You were good to me. Please understand that none of this is your fault, I did it all of my own free will. I love you.  
  
Your daughter; Sakura Kinomoto  
  
************End letter************  
  
************Touya's letter************  
  
Touya, Yes, I know. We had our little fights but they didn't mean anything. As much as I hated the way you called me a kaijuu I'll miss it. I don't know what I'll do without my big brother to protect me.  
  
Goodbye, Sakura.  
  
************End letter************  
  
************Tomoyo's letter************  
  
We used to be the best of friends but somewhere along the line you screwed that and my fiancé over. I'm probably the only one that knows but Tanika is Li's Daughter. I have nothing to say to you. You were a great friend to me before this little 'incident' but I could never hate you.  
  
Goodbye.  
  
************End letter************  
  
Everybody read his or her letters in silence.  
  
When Syaoran saw everyone's faces staring at him and Tomoyo, he quickly popped the video in the VCR.  
  
*********Video***********  
  
"Ahhhhhh. Hello friends, family, Li and Hiirigizawa. I see you've finally decided to watch this lovely movie that I have made for you all." Said a creepy voice. An image of Sakura came up on the dark screen. Her hair was black and her eyes dull, rimmed with red and dark bags underneath them. "I know that you're all waiting for the answers to your questions. I will answer them. The reason that I am dead at the moment is because of two people. One day: I went hope and saw my best buddy in bed with my fiancé. Poor Eri-chan. I hope that you're not as hurt as I was - well, still am." She corrected herself. "I'm sorry Li and Hiirigizawa but I have to tell the truth. Tanika is Li's daughter. I mean she's a newborn and those two have been doing it for the past nine months so it would only make sense. Ya know; all my life everybody has wanted me to be happy. There has never been even one single moment where I could show my true feelings. I guess that because I never let my emotions out they came out in one big burst that is my depression. Goodbye guys.  
  
*************End video****************  
  
That was it. Everyone went home to grieve properly  
  
~~Now that I know what I'm without  
  
you can't just leave me  
  
breathe into me and make me real  
  
bring me to life~~  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, Syaoran reached the apartment. He walked in to the bathroom, opened the cabinet took three orange bottles of pills, one green fluffy towel and put them on his green bed. He went into his alcohol cabinet and pulled out a bottle of tequila. He had everything on his bed. He took one last trip to the kitchen and grabbed a rather large knife.  
  
He sat on a corner of his bed and opened one orange box, he poured half the contents into his hand and did the same with the other two. With a shaking hand he put them into his mouth. He opened the new bottle of alcohol and took one long gulp. A quarter of the liquid was gone. He then popped the other half of each bottle of pills in his mouth and drowned them all in tequila. He took the fluffy towel and propped his left hand on it. He took a large swipe with the knife and his life was gone.  
  
As the life drained from his body, he thought of a song that he had been hearing a lot of lately.  
  
~~(Wake me up)  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
(I can't wake up)  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
(Save me)  
  
call my name and save me from the dark  
  
(Wake me up)  
  
bid my blood to run  
  
(I can't wake up)  
  
before I come undone  
  
(Save me)  
  
save me from the nothing I've become  
  
frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead  
  
all this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
  
got to open my eyes to everything  
  
without a thought without a voice without a soul  
  
don't let me die here  
  
there must be something more  
  
bring me to life  
  
(Wake me up)  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
(I can't wake up)  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
(Save me)  
  
call my name and save me from the dark  
  
(Wake me up)  
  
bid my blood to run  
  
(I can't wake up)  
  
before I come undone  
  
(Save me)  
  
save me from the nothing I've become  
  
(Bring me to life)  
  
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside  
  
(Bring me to life)~~  
  
Everything turned black then slowly white. He saw an angel looking at him. She was such a vision. She was his one and only. She was Sakura.  
  
Everything looked the same as it had on earth except brighter and nicer. He saw Sakura sit in a tree. Her long black hair swaying in the wind. He climbed up there and sat with her. He kissed her and their destinies entwined now they were together, forever, at last. 


End file.
